Developing a Positive Attitude

Certainly it can be challenging to maintain a positive outlook on life.  Struggles with personal finances, job loss or stress, divorce or difficult relationships, health issues in our own lives or a loved ones impact many of us. As well as what at times seems like a barrage of negativity and misfortune from family and friends, when you add to that the evening news some day’s things look very bleak.

How does one combat all this “reality” and remain positive, optimistic and hopeful?

It is really a choice and a willingness to develop some new habits.

Here are some keys for getting started:

1. Make a habit of counting your blessings: it may seem trite but this is scientifically supported. Spend some time each day being thankful for the good stuff even if it is simply a beautiful sunset, the love of a friend or partner, a great cup of coffee. Also take note of how you are a blessing to others; what good stuff do you provide to others? How do you make a positive impact?


2. Surround yourself with positive people: We do chose who we spend time with, minimize negative people and increase people that laugh, enjoy life and are doing well.


3. For every wrong find a right: As you observe what is not working well, either personally or in the world, force yourself to find and name something good that is working well. In all things there is more than one aspect; get in the habit of finding a counterbalance then choose to focus on the positive aspects rather than the negative.


4. Be solution focused; change your perspective on challenges as they arise. These are opportunities to problem solve, stretch yourself and grow. Although tough times stink when we are in them in hindsight they provide the most growth as well as hidden opportunities. Be open to the challenge to find the solution and know that you will get through while benefitting from all you will learn from the struggle.


5. Dream up the best possible outcomes; it is said that we do not get what we want in life but what we expect. Do you expect things will work out well or that you will be successful? Create a vision of you completing a task well, of your relationships being fun and loving; visualize specific events and how you will manage them well before you begin. Top athletes have used this for years as they visualize in great detail the sporting event and their performance going perfectly. This imprints your mind, creates optimism and prepares you for what lies ahead.

Keep in mind you are developing this, cultivating positive ways of thinking is not done overnight. Pick a strategy or two and use discipline to implement it to develop a habit of thinking and behaving. These things do change with a bit of effort and will make a positive impact in how you feel, how others interact with you as well as the results you get in all aspects of your life.

It may well be the single most important thing you can do for yourself ; as you shift your attitude to be more positive you will find your feelings as well as your behavior will follow naturally which will quickly change your world.

I invite you to try some of these ideas to get started but please feel free to contact me I would be happy to send more ideas or help you develop a personalized plan to foster a positive attitude and cultivate p optimism to create a life you love.

 

 

 

The Blessing of Choice

It sometimes seems we are surrounded by choices...in fact it is true, we are. Ones we may take for granted; what we eat, who we spend time with, our attitude. As well as those we agonize over; whether to continue a relationship, change jobs, relocate. The truth is the quality of our lives is a direct result of the quality of the choices we make.

That may be a burden or a blessing to accept, but it is true nonetheless. I think of it as a blessing as I recognize my current reality is a result of many choices I have made previously it empowers me with the knowledge that if I want different results I have the power to make different choices moving forward.

Taking responsibility is a blessing that allows control and options, conversely feeling a victim to circumstance and fate offers no ability to make an improvement or change course. This is a very important distinction; the perspective you have greatly influences your quality of life, ability to succeed and peace of mind.

Sometimes when I introduce this concept of the power and responsibility of choice people take offense assuming this assigns blame. If they are unhappy or doing poorly they may be reluctant to want to own their part in it and frankly can become very angry about this idea. This reaction actually confirms the problem as they have held a viewpoint without choice or control that blamed their circumstance or misfortune on outside events, feeling victim and helpless to change things. This viewpoint only serves to keep them perpetually stuck and unhappy and must be shifted for positive change to occur. Blame and guilt are never useful rather an understanding that the choices made seemed valid at the time with the information and perspectives of that moment, another topic in itself...stay tuned.

Certainly, there are many outside circumstances we do not choose: we do not pick our parents or families, even the country, culture or area we were raised in, many of us have been victims of crime or abuse, have been downsized, betrayed or fallen seriously ill.

The thing to be aware of even in these dramatic, challenging and devastating circumstances is the ability to choose our reaction to them and how we will move forward in spite of them.

Furthermore, the level of success and happiness we enjoy, the types of work we do and relationships we have, in essence most of the day to day aspects of our lives is a result of a multitude of big and little decisions we have made throughout our lives both in what we have decided to do or how we decided to think.

In all cases recognizing the power of choice we have and exercising it allows us room to heal, grow, and find our ultimate success and happiness by choosing to pursue it.

Does that feel like a blessing or a burden to you?

What one thing are you currently doing or involved in that if you had to choose again you would choose differently?

What area of your life would you like to see different results?

How can you make new choices now that will lead to the results you most want?

" The last of the human freedoms...mans ability to choose his attitude ... to choose his own way"

Viktor Frankl 

A great resource for understanding and accepting things beyond our control and finding meaning in all life is Viktor Frankl's phenomenal, life changing book "Mans Search for Meaning"