Go Beyond Confidence

Beyond Confidence

This concept is the foundation of all meaningful happiness and success, key to peace of mind

It is just beyond our idea of what confidence is.

• How I found it


• 3 key steps to cultivate it


• Why you want it

Confidence Defined

1. A feeling of assurance, especially self assurance


2. The state or quality of being certain


3. Trust or faith in a person or thing

But how do we define it? How do you define it?

So much talk about confidence; too much, too little.  It is confusing and contradictory used as a positive and a negative at the same time. It is something we both admire and criticize in others. Misunderstood to be earned or measured through outer variables chiefly achievement and approval it is precarious and constantly shifting.

In truth the confidence we truly need is beyond that.

This confidence is a sense of self that is more stable

Rooted in your intrinsic worth and value

Based upon self acceptance and independent of the opinion of others or the achievement of things.

As a young person I struggled to find my way. I was shy. I felt inferior to others having grown up in a tumultuous abusive home I had not established a solid sense of myself I thought where I came from and what I did defined who I was and what I was worth. I limited myself and held back what I was capable of, what I expected for myself and  what I expected from others for many years as a result. This background was the inspiration for my dedication to helping others live well to enjoy themselves and their lives.

However, it was not until I was in my mid thirties that I began to move beyond that and develop the confidence to express who I was and live more authentic and powerfully in the world. This was a long time coming. It was based on self acceptance and adopting new ways of thinking about what made people including me valuable. The realization that I had always been capable to handle anything that came my way was vital. Whether I handled it well or not did not matter. There was the slow burn of new knowledge and thinking and several pivotal aha moments that lead me to the place I now reside and share with others. .

Beyond confidence, a trust or faith in oneself. A self assurance and ease about who you are. A state of certainty that you are good valuable and capable. A knowledge that no matter if outcomes are fantastic or faulty you remain the same: A ok.

This belief fuels the ability to go into any situation, meet challenges and engage people  with ease and comfort.

It is palpable and attractive to others, it engenders the trust and respect of others because they sense that you have it for yourself.

The three key steps to go beyond confidence:

R.I.P

•  Redefine worth and value and apply it for yourself. Interrogate  and shift thinking that limits you and ways that you hold back because you may be judged. Know that you are independent of outside forces and opinions, you are beyond that.

•   Inventory your strengths and skills take ownership of who you are and what you are capable of. Meet the beautiful and brilliant essence of you and get ready to play full out. Accept the multifaceted beauty of you, all the brilliance and all the darkness as all valid valuable pieces of you

•  Practice; act as if you got this and in time you will. Expect that some days will be better than others it is a self growth process. However, changes happen quickly with a few shifts in thinking and behavior. Remind yourself of the new more powerful thinking and fake it till you make it.

RIP puts the old thinking to rest to allow for the freedom and comfort that comes from living beyond confidence. Once you do this you are no longer be utterly reliant on what others think now you will be:

• Able to make decisions better, less fear of being wrong or looking bad


• Less pressured to do everything just so, perfectionism, fear of failure and success fades


• Act natural, be yourself, you will expect to be accepted and won’t take it personally if you are not or someone does not like or agree with you.


• Be more bold to take risks follow your dreams


• Be more free and intimate in your relationships more comfortable sharing yourself fully


• Have less anxiety and depression there is a general sense of being ok no matter what happens and being ok if it is not ok


• Enjoy life more; having fun doing more of what you want to do


• Be more creative as blocks are lifted and you can flow with less fear


• Make more meaningful friendships; your ease and self comfort not only attracts others in making them comfortable and at ease with you but also you will find you are less judgmental and accept and appreciate others as the principles you have applied to your self apply to everyone you will genuinely like people more.

Going beyond confidence will give you the freedom to unlock your power to be all that you are and pursue what you want fully. It takes time to develop and may in fact be the work of our lives but it is worth it; it sets the foundation for the happiness and success that we seek.