5 Ways to Reduce Stress and Increase Happiness Now

It seems stress levels are at an all-time high. I don't think you can make it through a day without someone lamenting their stress level or seeing an article or post regarding the issue. Despite the prevalence of information on the topic I think there remains a lack of understanding and action to improve the situation. Stress is the feeling we get when we feel we do not have the time, ability or resources to deal with tasks or a situation. It is also often used interchangeably with the feeling of anxiety and worry which feels similar but is not quite the same. It is important to recognize that stress has to do with our feelings or perceptions not the actual situation that elicits the response. Keeping this in mind we do best to become aware of the circumstances that provoke this response in us, cultivate skills to improve and adjust our attitudes to them and balance our lives in a healthy way so we are  prepared to handle things well. In our fast paced over stimulated lifestyle we can multitask the day away employing all kinds of systems and tools designed to make our lives easier and faster that at the same time turn up stress levels by encouraging us to always be attending to even more tasks and ever more input. We simply are on overload most of the time. Add to this a cultural value system that supports  unhealthy and unrealistic ideas of productivity and success and it is clear why many of us feel stressed, unhappy and exhausted much of the time. The good news is we can stop the madness by becoming more aware, making different choices and using simple tools that not only decrease our stress but increase our happiness.

1. Be true to you. Stop saying yes when you mean no. Start by examining your to do list and eliminating or delegating things that you do not want to do whenever possible. Evaluate the things you refer to as must do, should do, have to do. These terms are oppressive, they feel negative and make us feel out of control and a victim to life… not good. Get rid of the things that fall into these categories first or change your attitude towards them and use language such as I chose to, want to, or could do instead. 
2. Triple A: Accept, Adapt, Avoid We often think we have no choice which contributes to our stress considerably. We tolerate situations that need not be tolerated, we interact with people that are hurtful and negative, we struggle against reality that cannot be changed. The Serenity Prayer says it best; we will feel more peace as we learn to accept what cannot change, be creative and flexible with what we have to work with and avoid things that are unnecessary and do not serve us. Sometimes there are hard choices to make but applying the triple A approach will put you well on your way to less stress and more happiness.
3. Put the Oxygen Mask on Yourself First: There remains a self sacrificial attitude especially amongst women to do for everyone else at great personal cost. Some of us show love through doing and caring for others which is great as long as you care for yourself as well as you care for others. Love thy neighbor as thyself only works if you love thyself first after all. I am frequently guilty of this myself, putting of my meditation or workouts to squeeze in another task or fill the request of a friend or family member. We misunderstand that caring for the self is not the same as being selfish. Implement routines that recharge and renew, this will enable you to be your best for yourself and others, minimize resentment and keep you happy and healthy. Take the time to discover what works for you and schedule it in with as much or more priority as the things you do for others.
4. Have Fun Similar to number 3  we need to value fun in our lives. We tend to forget that happiness and fun balances work and stress perfectly. Imagine a teeter totter with stress and obligation on one side fun and happiness on the other, you must have a balanced mix to keep life steady and be mindful that when the balance shifts too much to one side you can quickly set it straight by adding to the other side. This is a tool I use with all of my clients working to achieve their goals; to include fun and leisure activities right in the goal set as a way to stay balanced, clear headed, feel good and enjoy the journey.
5. Take Action Make a Plan Now: Do not wait. Chose one small thing to add or subtract that causes stress in your life this week. Chose one small attitude shift that is more empowering towards a task that is required of you or a person you must deal with this week. Chose one fun activity and add it to your schedule this week. Chose one healthy habit better nutrition, exercise or relaxation this week. Tell me next week how you feel.

 Let's face it most of us know this stuff or at least have some ideas of things we could do that would make our lives easier, happier and more successful. Frankly, we often hold onto these habits and relish being a victim or fool ourselves into thinking we have no choice.  That is just not true. We must be honest with ourselves and be willing to actually be happier and less stressed. The real problem is believing that we can make the changes we want and choosing to make them on a consistent basis. They say knowledge is half the battle, it is;  the easier half. It takes a bit of mindful effort to to change attitudes, habits and routines until they become new habits attitudes and routines.. When we are stressed and unhappy we quickly fall into a rut of complaining, feeling lousy and resentful and we will find plenty of people to commiserate with that will reinforce this exhausting trend. We can chose instead to break this cycle, making some changes to decrease the stress and increase our happiness to enjoy life more and isn't that what it is all about anyway?

Sometimes you barely have to change anything to change everything