What If Something Good Happens?

What if something bad happens?
What if they do not like me?
What if I fail?
We ask these things based on past experience.
I am reminded again and again by my own day to day life and habits and by my work with clients that we greatly limit the amount of success, happiness and joy we have based on history.
We do not try new things because once we tried something we did not like.
We do not trust fully because once we were betrayed.
We do not engage in activities because once we failed.
We do not fully reveal ourselves because once we were rejected.
There is no more powerful kill joy than once.

Certainly we may have experienced these unpleasantries more than once or maybe it has just been once but it hurt deeply and all our brain is fixated upon is not experiencing that again.
Our brains are designed to protect us, and on occasion they protect us so well from pain that we miss out on a lot of pleasure as well. Simply put; it is fear and we all experience it.

The good news is with a bit of effort we can override our brains and habits and make different choices.
This is in fact exactly what we must do if we want to have more fun, happiness and success.
If you currently are not satisfied with any aspect of your life you can chose to stop protecting yourself from the what if something bad happens so that you can experience what if something good happens.

The first step to doing this is recognizing what stops you. Pay attention to what you say no to, what you avoid, when you hold back. Become aware of the real outcome you are afraid of and how it will make you feel. You may instantly know why you feel this way based on past experience or you may not. But with this awareness you can chose differently. Knowing the places that scare you and why is a starting point to do battle.
Typically, we have all had far more successes and good outcomes than failures and pains. But human nature weights the negative so much heavier than the good stuff it can be all but forgotten. Step two is recognize the times things went well. We fool ourselves thinking we are "always disappointed or rejected" but in truth it is not always. We must remember that we have and will have good outcomes as well so that we can push forward. I find myself frequently questioning my clients when they slip into all or nothing thinking using terms like always and never. Find the truth it is never always, but this thinking can stop us in our tracks.
As we move forward with this more optimistic and open minded view of life it is important as well to clarify the vision of the life we want o create in the first place. So the next piece is to create a vision of the life you want that is holistic. Spend time deciding what types of relationships you want, what kind of activity and work, how you will mange your health and connect spiritually. When we purse with intention the life we want it may not turn out exactly as we have planned but it will be closer or maybe better than we could ever have imagined.

By recognizing and removing the limits we place on ourselves and choosing who we will be and how we will live we give ourselves the freedom to live and express ourselves more fully which greatly increases the chance of something good happening.