Wisdom of the Oldies

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need.." The Rolling Stones When you are from a certain generation there seems to be something about Summer that reignites an interest in the songs of our youth. Event planners know this of course and fill the Summer festival stages with acts that had their hay days long ago. I sometimes think lyrics from some of theseoldies are more poignant than much of what I hear these days. Now I am really dating myself. I love the line quoted above and find more meaning to it in my upper forties than when I used to belt it out with the radio blaring Mick's iconic voice. Chalk it up to another lesson I had to learn the hard way. "You can't always get what you want" True. Often we do not even know what we want or we think we do and once we get it discover we were terribly mistaken. In my life there have been many things I have pursued with certainty, determination and achieved but later changed my mind or found it was not all it was cracked up to be. Rarely do we get exactly what we want and typically it does not turn out to be exactly what we thought. In hindsight these disappointments guide us to a better knowing of ourselves as well as more insight into what we do want and why. "If you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need". More true.The beauty of not getting what we want is in the discovery that we have gotten exactly what we needed instead. Sometimes it can be painful or uncomfortable but when we are open we can reap so many benefits of not achieving what we thought we wanted. So many times we arrogantly think we know what is best and can be headstrong in our pursuits doing whatever it takes to make things happen. I remember being like that when I was younger, determined to make things happen and very frustrated when they did not work out the way I thought they should. It caused a lot of pressure and anxiety that I am glad I have let go of now, ( mostly). There are other times we become so focused on something specific that we miss real opportunities for something wonderful. A good example is personal relationships. We think we know just what type of person suits us, how the relationship should work and how long it should last. We may even have a list or vision of the partner of our dreams in great detail. Funny thing is we do not usually think of the things that really matter and are puzzled when we find someone that suits our description but we just are not really feeling what we thought we should. As with other goals and dreams we can miss great opportunities for profound relationships because they do not match what we think we are looking for, doing this can lead to a lot of lonely nights. However, this goes well beyond relationships, there is even a term for it, miswanting, and it plays out in all aspects of life. One of the things I love about people is how fickle we are. We are so dynamic and complex always changing and growing this contributes to the difficulties we face with getting what we want. We change our minds while at the same time life changes and  offers us surprises that we never could have imagined. As a life coach creating a vision of what you want, developing the goals and strategies to achieve it is kind of my bread and butter. I have learned through the years to set goals and work diligently toward them but to remain open to what comes my way as well and I encourage my clients to do the same. The truth is we do not always know what we want or what will bring us what we really need and deeply desire. I have changed course many times and enjoyed some fantastic detours with people and experiences I could never have imagined as a result.  It is critical to clarify your vision of the life you want to create, set goals and take action to be sure. Life is too wonderful and precious not to make solid plans but we must also keep our arms and eyes wide open to the opportunities and surprises along the way so that we have the best chance to not only get what we want but also to get what we need. This Summer I will belt out that old Stones tune with even more abandon and joy knowing that I am perfectly happy and forever grateful that I can't always get what I want but if I try sometimes I sure have found that I get what I need…yeah baby... Key Steps to Get What You Want & What You Need  Self Awareness. Know and trust yourself. Investigate your dreams and desires, identify your motives and drivers. Clarify what and why. Develop strategies, set goal and make plans. Set up step by step action plans and get started with a small manageable first step to get you headed in the right direction. Use self discipline to stay the course until it is habit. Have specific goals but not an attachment to exactly how it will be fulfilled. Keep your eyes and your mind open. Opportunities will come your way constantly, not always ones you expect. Recognize that there are many paths to achieve your goal and sometimes one you may not have anticipated may be the best route. Be grateful for detours, pot holes and roadblocks on your journey all offer depth and growth if you allow it to be so. Adopt and attitude that everything that happens or comes your way is for your greater good and it will be, even when it is difficult or unpleaseant there is always the growth or richness of that experience. More info http://www.lifescapestrategies.com