Self Acceptance is an understanding and peace with who and how you are regardless of the approval or opinion of others. It is a quiet acknowledgment of your strengths and talents as well as your struggles and shortcomings as part of the complex and beautifully human package of who you truly are. All valuable, all critical to the totality of you. It does not mean you adore every one of those aspects or do not endeavor to change bad habits or grow. In fact, self acceptance fuels self growth and self esteem because we are able to keep moving forward once we are done holding ourselves back with fear, guilt or a desire to seek the approval of others.
I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others
I am beneath no one
I am perfectly capable to handle anything that comes my way.
Deepak Chopra
This mantra sums it up so well. You are you. You define your own worth and value. No one else has that power. All others will view and judge us through their own smeared lenses of personal agendas and insecurities. Some will try to control us, even with the best intention and it is easy to get caught up believing messages that just are not true. Learning that we are independent beings that can chose what we believe about ourselves and our lives gives us the freedom to find fulfillment as well as the ability to offer love and acceptance to others.
To find peace with ourselves we must be willing to let go of the need to have the approval of others. This is especially true of those closest to us. We typically suffer the most pain and struggle at the hands of family and lovers. It can be difficult to navigate a course that honors and loves others and ourselves at the same time. Most of what we are taught is to put others first, to sacrifice our own needs and desires so we do not act “selfish”. The lovely message to be caring and considerate of others does more to undermine our own happiness than we can imagine. The truth is one must find a way to honor their own needs as primary then chose to share and care freely with others next. Before we can really be true to anyone else we must learn to be true to ourselves.
Ultimately our lives are our own. We are on a singular journey that we may chose to share with others. Chose wisely those that help you head in the direction that uplifts and supports you. Understand that those that do not sometimes simply can not and have their own demons to conquer, let them. We tend to take far too many things personally and spend too much time as a result trying to conform or please someone else’s notion of us. We cannot reach nirvana chasing someone else’s dream. When we find self acceptance we worry less about how we are perceived and do not seek another’s approval to know that we are a -ok. We will always bask in the glow of admiration and feel good about a pat on the back but we can learn to let go of the pain that stops us in our tracks and crushes our spirit. Begin to be your own best counsel and trust yourself and your opinions on what is right for you. Sure, there will be times you are wrong, fall short or fail miserably, accept that too and let it feed your strength and independence as you keep on moving full steam ahead.
By shifting perspectives on our own ideas of human worth and empowering ourselves to define who and how we will live our lives things begin to take shape and head in the direction of our dreams with more freedom, fulfillment, happiness and success than we otherwise could have imagined.
Julia Skeesick, CPC. CEO of LifeScape Strategies works with clients to define and create lives of their own design. She provides private and group coaching workshops seminars and retreats that support more freedom success balance and happiness in both our personal and professional lives, learn more
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