Whatever Happened to Joe?

Sometimes we have a nagging feeling that things just are not right. It may be general discontent and dissatisfaction or things may get to the point of unravelling around us. That happened to Joe a few months ago as the career path he had been continuing to struggle with came to a dead end as he was let go. Admittedly, this was not his dream job and in fact he had not in his forty + years really considered or chosen a career but instead stumbled into something that seemed reasonable and secure and diligently tried for years to make it work with lackluster results. We spoke and met several times about uncovering his strengths and talents, exploring his passions and discovering a sense of meaning and purpose as he decided what to do next. He recognized how little he really knew of himself and was excited but fearful of what he might uncover.

Little progress was made.

Although not working he found scarce time to invest in self exploration, during our conversations  he was engaged and claimed commitment but there was no follow up on his part.

He has recently found another position within the same industry he struggled with before. He is not excited, but it is what he is familiar with and that means something to many of us. Certainly some new approaches and attitudes mixed with a new opportunity may bring him success, I hope so.

This  situation is not uncommon. In fact it is more uncommon for people to think this way; to be self aware and willing to find their own answers to live life on their own terms. To believe that more is possible  for themselves and their lives and that they are responsible and capable to create it.

Many of us are simply not in the habit of being truly in touch with who we are and what we want. It can be uncomfortable to dig in a bit, although the  rewards are great it does get a little dirty at times. If you do not see the possibilities and benefits it is hard to be motivated. Fear always plays a role as we endeavor to do bigger and better things and grow. You do not have to wait to be fearless, just to have that courage to do what needs to be done in spite of fear. To believe the unknown may in fact be better than the known.

Ultimately, one has to be ready, as with most worthwhile things no one can do it for you. The journey is our own and we have to choose it in our own time.

 

 

 

 

Update on Joe's Journey

So you may remember my client Joe. He is in a time of transition in his career and reached out to me midlife to figure out what he has been missing. He has not found the career fit or the life fulfillment he desires and in a sense has been going through the motions day to day for several years as many of us do. I have sent him quite a bit of materials and exercises to get him started. We have also met a few times both in person and over the phone. However, he has really not dug in yet to the task of discovery or creating a plan to move forward. I have asked him more than once about this and reconfirmed with him that working with me on these matters is in fact what he wants. He assures me it is.

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I believe him. I think that his desire for change is strong; he wants to discover himself, what his strengths and passions are to find direction and ultimately a career and life that is successful and fulfilling.

For most of us what Joe is doing is familiar ; wanting change yet resisting the onset and the work.

We all want change at one point or another. Whether to loose some weight, start an exercise regime, stick to a budget, renew a relationship or to change a career.

The truth is; we really want the change, but not neccessarily the process of changing. Just give us the results we will pass on the hard work right? Normal. Even if you are willing to do the work, as I believe Joe is, it is hard to get started and maybe a little scary too.

Leaving one way of being behind that you are used to to step into something unknow is scary. Asking yourself tough questions can be intimidating as well, do you really want to get to know yourself so well? Will you like yourself more or less after that process?

It has been a hectic time of year since Joe and I started this journey, I am confident we will keep moving along the path which is all that really matters: Move forward at whatever pace suits you. Because when you are really drawn to do something or what you are currently doing isn't working the  secret is that the change is always much easier than staying where you are.

What would you like to do or change and what holds you back?

 

Joe's Journey

Recently I did a consult with a man I will call Joe. He has been mildly interested in coaching in the past due to feeling somewhat dissatisfied in his career and the general direction of his life. He contacted me with renewed interest after losing his job. This time of difficulty and transition has provided motivation to reevaluate and seize the opportunity to make some changes. Times like these tend to make us take a step back and look at where we are and where we want to be, ideal times for coaching by he way. During the consult it became apparent that like many of us he is unsure what he would really like to do. At this mid point in his life he is wondering what his calling and purpose is, what will provide meaning and fulfillment in addition to success. Joe thought he was on a path to stability but in retrospect knows it was a path he chose because he "should"  because of family influence and expectations and although he was committed, he struggled in the career to find success or fulfilment.

As we get started I have asked him to explore and prioritize his values and to assess his strengths and passions, these are things he has to put some thought into, he had no ready answers. Yet  these are the basis of finding what he most wants.

So, Joe has homework this week. This is a process, a journey that we have begun. I sense some reluctance to really dig in and I wonder if he will do it. We all  have times like these; we ask ourselves how did we get here? What is it all about? What do we really want or is this all there is? We stumble upon opportunities to change course to one that suits us better and to follow our dreams. Not all of us take these opportunities, in fact too few do. Somehow it seems easier to go for the quick fix or to stay the familiar albeit unrewarding course. But is it easier? And why do we think it would be so hard to live life the way we really want to anyway. Does that even make sense?

Let's see what Joe decides to do.

Tell me...what would you do?