We all have perceptions and ideas that create our reality. These beliefs help us frame ourselves and the world, provide comfort as well as constraint. We can invest a lot of time and effort into learning the best way to think and live. Seeking to find truth in the words and writings of saints and sages. We can be convinced there is a true path out there for us or a specific handbook to follow to the good life, a way of earning our way to peace or bliss. We tend to look outside ourselves for answers others have found and hope in vain it will work for us.
pic by Joerg S
At nearly fifty years old I can look back over what I have believed in my lifetime and see some vastly different ideology. I have been conservative, moderate and liberal . I have studied or practiced several religions and philosophies. I have adhered to structure and rules at times being very self-disciplined while at others I have chosen to be free spirited, flowing and open.
I like to think as I have grown I have questioned more while at the same time tuning in more clearly to my own sense of what is right for me. I care less for outer standards or mores and embrace what I intuitively know is right for me.
This ability to trust myself more and to set my own boundaries is born out of a sense of self acceptance I did not posses as a younger woman.
When we earn genuine self acceptance many of our beliefs and perceptions are no longer necessary. It matters less how you should be when you are okay with how you are. I use the word earn intentionally. Genuine self acceptance is a hard lesson for most of us, in many cases a life long struggle. Accepting all of who you are; the messy, complex, incredible beauty of all of the light and dark facets of our humanity is no easy task. But once you have, being is lighter and more free. The need to follow some prescription or mandate of how to behave or think falls away.
Everything is ok. As we turn up the self acceptance and love we find we are infinitely more accepting and loving to others. We naturally do no harm. The respect we have for ourselves overflows and extends to other people, animals, nature. While we may drop the need for standards or rules set by others, we instinctively find our inner compass that guides us to honor ourselves and the world from a place of acceptance, respect, gratitude and celebration.
Acceptance leads us to our purpose and mission. I recognize the thing that has most stood in my way as well as that of my friends and clients through the years, has been the self. Fear is the dream killer of course, but fear is always self involved. Will I fail, be rejected, look bad, be the fool? This intensely human and universal thinking that plagues us all to some degree seeps in through the cracks of our lack of genuine self acceptance. Genuine self acceptance does not define worth and value on outer standards like accomplishment, beauty or power. The attachment to good outcomes or approval is greatly diminished, which effectively dials down fear. While I do not believe in complete self acceptance at all times, I do believe we can get very good at it and harness the freedom, peace and power that it provides. Shedding some of these fears and managing the rest through accepting that any failure or short coming is also ok with us we are then able to pursue our goals more successfully, love with more intimacy and abandon, create with no constraint. We can discover our purpose and set forth boldly on our mission by steeping onto a path of our own making.
Tune into yourself Pray, meditate, be silent, listen. Daily
Trust Yourself You now what you know. Drop the doubt. You got this. Pay attention to how you feel. Take your own advice.
Be True to Yourself Stop cheating on you. Keep your word to yourself. Do not let your best friend, ( you ) down anymore. Do what you promise. Take care of your body mind and soul and it will take care of you.
Lose Yourself You are infinitely valuable and important what you have to offer the world is needed now. You are a part of the world, stop hogging you to yourself and spread that good stuff around for Pete’s sake! Discover what you have to give and give yourself to it completely. Do not worry what others will think or how the world defines success. Make your own rules and rewrite them as often as necessary.
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