Whatever Happened to Joe?

Sometimes we have a nagging feeling that things just are not right. It may be general discontent and dissatisfaction or things may get to the point of unravelling around us. That happened to Joe a few months ago as the career path he had been continuing to struggle with came to a dead end as he was let go. Admittedly, this was not his dream job and in fact he had not in his forty + years really considered or chosen a career but instead stumbled into something that seemed reasonable and secure and diligently tried for years to make it work with lackluster results. We spoke and met several times about uncovering his strengths and talents, exploring his passions and discovering a sense of meaning and purpose as he decided what to do next. He recognized how little he really knew of himself and was excited but fearful of what he might uncover.

Little progress was made.

Although not working he found scarce time to invest in self exploration, during our conversations  he was engaged and claimed commitment but there was no follow up on his part.

He has recently found another position within the same industry he struggled with before. He is not excited, but it is what he is familiar with and that means something to many of us. Certainly some new approaches and attitudes mixed with a new opportunity may bring him success, I hope so.

This  situation is not uncommon. In fact it is more uncommon for people to think this way; to be self aware and willing to find their own answers to live life on their own terms. To believe that more is possible  for themselves and their lives and that they are responsible and capable to create it.

Many of us are simply not in the habit of being truly in touch with who we are and what we want. It can be uncomfortable to dig in a bit, although the  rewards are great it does get a little dirty at times. If you do not see the possibilities and benefits it is hard to be motivated. Fear always plays a role as we endeavor to do bigger and better things and grow. You do not have to wait to be fearless, just to have that courage to do what needs to be done in spite of fear. To believe the unknown may in fact be better than the known.

Ultimately, one has to be ready, as with most worthwhile things no one can do it for you. The journey is our own and we have to choose it in our own time.

 

 

 

 

Ink Blot Test

 For many years psychiatrists and psychologists have used the Rorschach test for insight into human behavior and thinking. I am sure you are familiar with this scientific test; a series of ink blot images are shown to the subject and they are to describe what they see. What they see is a direct reflection of who they are, how they perceive and feel about both themselves and their world.

What we see in each other and our world everyday is also a unique refection of who and how we are. Our emotions, current and past  events and attitudes shape all our perceptions and color our beliefs. Being aware of this is vital. Understanding you have the ability to change it is powerful.

A person with an overall optimistic and upbeat attitude is more likely to try new things and make new friends. Their positive perception of the world and others is a direct reflection of their positive perception of themselves and their ability to do well. Additionally, people are naturally attracted to them because of the attitude and energy they put out.

Conversely, people that routinely see things negatively or are apt to feel no one likes them and things are aligned against them are really projecting their insecurity, self doubt and dislike outward. Others pick up on this often before a word is spoken.

Your ink blot test is the results you get when you look at yourself, others and circumstances in your world. Make some observations and some interpertations.

Many of us, have areas that cause us trouble on a regular basis that we are keenly aware of and may even really want to change.  Are you sometimes unforgiving, intolerant, rigid?  Do you dislike certain traits in others or have a hard time accepting people? Are you cynical or suspicious?

Become aware of how these very things apply to how you  perceive yourself and then set out to shift your perspective of you.

Be more tolerant, accepting and forgiving of yourself and it becomes easy to be so with others.

Focus on your strengths and develop confidence in your abilities then difficulties and obstacles will be neutralized and overcome more easily.

To do this awareness is key. Explore circumstances that may have led to your perceptions and challenge yourself about whether it is valid and true to continue to relate current people and circumstance to this example.Be honest about where these attitudes and perceptions come from and how they help or hinder you in your life. Do they move you forward, bring you happiness and enrich your life?

For some of us this requires we dig a bit and maybe explore several things that formed these habits of thinking that do not serve us. Frankly, it is not always so easy to do. But I warn you: when you really shift it is a permanent and powerful transformation.

If the results of your ink blot test are not quite what you would like; change the only variable...you.

 

There are resources available via therapy, coaching and assesment tools if  you need assistance. The  Energy Leadership Index Assessment measures these factors and is a great tool to uncover perspectives and attitudes that effect your view of yourself and the world, the vibe you put out and how others ultimately view you.

Learn more http://www.lifescapesite.com/services/assessments

 

" When we change the way we look at things the things we look at change"

Wayne Dyer

 

 

 

 

Believe

For all the dreaming and planning we do, careful goal setting and preparation; all of this will fall short without one crucial element: Belief.

Dream. Believe. Act . A simple formula that is not always so simple.

I think we spend most of our time on the dream or goal and the action required but very little recognizing the importance of belief. Belief itself, like everything, is multifaceted.

We must believe not only that what we seek is possible and attainable, but that we are capable and worthy to achieve it. This can be more complex then it seems.

We easily get caught in our day to day living and thinking and often have a hard time imaging more for ourselves and being creative in the first place. This is the ability to believe in possibilities for oneself. Shifting perspectives, utilizing creative and expansive thinking and allowing those ideas to be real possibilities for oneself is the first step in transformation of any size. We must believe in the limitless possibilities and choices before us. There are always far more than we think. This requires imagination and courage to go outside of our comfort zones to explore. This is the element that squashes so much positive change as we are creatures of habit that are in the habit of thinking that they way things are are the way things will remain. Who says so?

When we give up or fall short it is often due to weak effort which is likely due to a lack of real motivation, truly wanting something, or a lack of belief that you can do what you say and deserve to be successful. It may be unconscious  thoughts about who we are, what we are capable of and what we deserve that gets in the way. Or conscious negative thinking, that little voice of doubt and limiting ideas. As we know, these thoughts all drive and effect our behaviors and can lead to self sabotage. So it is wise to recognize and challenge them, shift perspectives to ones that serve us better and provide support. Shoring up confidence, self esteem and recognizing that all our thoughts are not true or helpful and can be altered is very powerful.

All positive change, innovation and achievement starts with a dream and is carried on wings of belief over resistance and obstacles into solid action to become reality. Believe to take flight.




Who do you believe you are?

What do you think is possible for yourself?

What do you dare dream and believe?

"The future belongs to those that believe in the beauty of their dreams." Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Goal Setting Success

 

So this is technically step three. If you have been following my posts since January: know yourself, create the vision, connect your values and be aligned and motivated were topics that all came before this.

                                  So  now you are ready!

Select Goals Carefully: Is it yours? Will it provide what you seek? Does it support your larger vision?

Be Specific: State what you want in detail; more money, how much more? More fitness, in what way? Increase sales, what type and by how much? New relationship? Details please...

Reasonable: Not too big to be overwhelming, not too small to bore you. Keep in mind, we are at our best when challenged.

Measure and Time: How much by when? How will you know you are on track otherwise?

Break It Down: Larger goals and visions are built on achieving milestones along the way. What will you achieve first to build upon? What are the first steps and when will you take them?

Write and Review: Written goals are proven again and again to be far more powerful. Write them, read them and review them often.

Accountability: Most people do very well when they have a partner, club or group to work with that counts on them, knows the goals, lends support and encouragement. In general, most of us will do anything not to fall short in public or let others down so it works wonders for many. If you think you may benefit hire a coach, preferably through LifeScape of course,  join a group or enlist a friend.

Be Resolute: Commit. Recommit. Be firm, unwavering and determined and when that does not work, start again the next moment.

Be Aware: Recognize what may stand in your way, even if it is you, (often this is the case). Also,  be aware of any skills or knowledge you need to acquire to get what you want; prepare.

H.A.R.D According to author Mark Murphy, goals should be Heartfelt, Animated, Required and Difficult. I couldn't agree more. His site has many resources to assess if yours are: http://www.hardgoals.com/

Set two to three goals, we really cannot focus on more than that.  Now is the time to create a detailed plan to attain them and shore up your confidence and courage to make it happen. I will give you some keys to doing that next week.

In the meantime, write some goals for yourself. Be bold, share them here in the comments and we will help to hold you accountable and wait to hear your success story.