Is The Credit and Blame Game Holding You Back?

Who get's the credit and or blame in your life?

It seems when things go wrong as they invariably do, many of us, at least privately are quick to blame and even belittle ourselves for our fault. Many people publicly, loudly pronounce themselves stupid or inept in some way. Often times, we punish ourselves dramatically and frequently  for  mistakes or short comings that happened years before. We are eager and willing to assemble a long list of exactly how and where we missed the mark.

By and large we have little trouble accepting the blame when things go wrong, and we do not quickly forget.

Conversely, many people have a very hard time accepting the credit when things go well, even when they have a momentous success. We diminish our part, write it off to blind luck or thank God or the universe for causing something to happen. Frequently, no matter the victory we will find pieces within it to criticize or point out our failure to have done more or better. At the least, many of us will humbly accept some credit and  then forget all about it choosing to focus instead on the next challenge without really recognizing or celebrating the success.

There are numerous answers for this I am sure. Upbringing, culture, hard wiring, habits of thought and behavior. But whatever the reasons this type of behavior and thinking does us harm and limits us from being our best.

Our reference point of credit and blame is a large part of how we explain our world and importantly our possibilities in it.

Do we believe we have the power to achieve great things by our own volition or is it dependent on luck or divinity? Are we able to recognize and thus build upon our triumphs and draw upon our strengths? Do we criticize our real or imagined failings and so keep ourselves from attempting or even believing in our best? Are we ready to go over the long list of times things did not work, of mistakes we have made as evidence not to trust ourselves and prove our certain failure before even trying?

For us to be fully our best selves and be successful we must manage these types of thinking habits.

1. Take stock of your achievements and things you have overcome, write them down as well as the specific talents skills or problem solving you were able to use successfully.


2. Pay attention  to your habits of credit and blame: Are they fair? Shift your perspectives to include you as the central role in your life that you play. Be conscious of  being overly focused on the negative and diminishing your own achievements and abilities. Notice if you allow past failings to predict future ones.


3. When embarking upon an new challenge prepare yourself by drawing upon past evidence of your capability and victories as proof you are ready to succeed once more.


4. Acknowledge if you wish divine blessing but realize you made the choice to use those gifts well and be proud of your part.


5.  Choose to recognize that all that has happened thus far in your life is an important part of your success story.

The truth is the things that did not work or even failed miserably  often teach the best lessons.Pointing out areas of growth or to signal the need for a new direction.

The victories you experience both large and small highlight your strengths to build upon, define your talents and passions and provide evidence of you amazing abilities.  These successes stock the shelves and build the skills and confidence you need to face more challenges and try new things.

Developing  a healthy balanced approach to the credit and blame game will empower you to do your best. Be responsible for all you make happen in your life and know it is ultimately for your growth and good and leads to your success.

Eliminate Stress from the Core

What stresses you out? What keeps you up at night, gnaws at you, makes your head throb and your muscles tight?

We all have stress and anxiety at times, unfortunately for some of us it is a lot of the time.

Much has been written, including a bit by me, regarding managing and reducing stress, ideas that are proven, solid and helpful as well. Keep in mind some stress and anxiety is useful and should be used as a natural warning sign something is amiss and should be paid attention to. Now a days though everywhere you turn people lament that they are "stressed out" and need relief.

But what if there were a way to eliminate stress from the core? Make an underlying powerful shift in perspectives that would head off any uncomfortable reactions in the first place...would you be interested?

The truth is events, circumstance and situations are not stressful in themselves. They do not have  meaning other than that which we assign them. This is the key reason; our individual interpretation that explains the disparity of how people react to and handle "stress". So the trick is to get to the core. The core thought and emotion that fuels your reaction that does not serve you. Accept the fact that it is not the thing but how you think about it and now you have the power to change how you think about it, manage and react.

With some effort you can change the way you look at things, greatly reducing what you even consider to be stressful.

You can better recognize what is under your control and let go of what is not.

You can understand the real importance and significance of things and not sweat the small stuff.

You can store up your resources and recharge yourself regularly. Be confident in you ability to handle any and all challenges that come your way. You will then be well prepared when called upon.

You can chose when things are difficult to focus on the strengths, blessings and lessons as well as the opportunity to dig in, access your best self and grow as we invariable do in challenging times. Something good always comes, expect it.

Shifting how you think about and approach the "stress" in your life has the power to transform it and you and with enough practice eliminate stress from the core.

So, what stresses you out and how can you shift the way you think about it?