It occurred to me today that the folks I know that live the most rewarding, successful and fulfilling lives are the same people that are hitting it hard, giving it their all everyday in work, play and their relationships.
It seems to me that people talk a good deal about what they are or more often, are not getting out of life. They have a detailed list of unfulfilled desires and are waiting for them to be filled. This is especially apparent in regard to our personal relationships. What he or she does not do or provide. Where they are falling short or aspects of the relationship that are lacking.We often have notions that if they would just change or give more of this or that things would be better. We may entertain the idea that another partner would be best, one that would give more of what we truly want and need. These ideas may in fact hold some truth however, it occurs to me that most of us look outside ourselves for the change to come. We focus to often on what we are getting and very little consideration is put into examining what we are giving.
This distinction is vital.
In truth is the most power we have to get what we most want is directly in proportion to what we are willing to give.
How much of yourself will you share and how fully?
How honest and authentic, how loving and committed?
How much of your time, your body, mind and soul?
Particularly when it comes to our relationships, most of us are guarded, we want to protect ourselves from looking foolish, being rejected.
We want to wait, to hold back, see what we get first before we decide to go all in. We look for what we are getting far more than what we are giving as a measure of the value of the relationship.
Of course we want to be loved. But isn't it equally precious to love?
Fully giving yourself to another is not an easy thing to do. Accepting another requires a degree of self acceptance and trust we do not all have, it is risky. So many things get in the way of the love and true intimacy we crave. It is not surprising so many settle for a life without it substituting good times and good sex for real connection and love.
I think when it comes to life we get out of it in direct proportion to what we give it. If we work, play and love fully we will be fully rewarded.
If we are not getting what we truly want we must look to ourselves for the honest answer to what we are truly giving.
In our personal relationships this is even more crucial. We can only expect to enjoy a deep intimate connection when we are willing to give of ourselves deeply and honestly. Allowing ourselves to risk being truly seen and known, accepting another as the complex and beautiful beings they are and being willing to give them the love and acceptance we ourselves seek.
Kinda risky. But not doing so risks never getting what you most desire.
The only way of getting all that we seek is through giving fully of ourselves in pursuit of all that we want and all that we are. We must then be willing to give more and to give more we must let go of the fear that holds us back. The fear that tricks us into thinking it is better to do without or wait for someone or something else to make things happen or go first rather than put ourselves out there and have it not "work".
What are you afraid to give?
What things hold you back from fully giving and sharing yourself?
How might your relationships be different if you focused on what you are giving and redoubling your efforts in that regard?
How can you give more of yourself to the people and things you connect with this week?
