7 Simple Strategies for a Happy New Year

1. Know what you  want and why. Be crystal clear on what you want to achieve as well as what you want to gain from it. Be sure what you are seeking will actually provide what you are after.
2.  Make it your own goal not what you think you should do and certainly not what someone else thinks you should do. 
3. Connect to the feeling you will have when you attain it. This provides motivation. We may think we want things but what really turns us on and gets us moving is how things make us feel.
4. Write your goals. Pick no more than 3 and be very specific about what it is and when you will achieve it.. For example; lose 10 pounds is a good written goal but it becomes actionable and attainable when you add a time frame.
5. Each written goal needs at least 3 action steps that you are able to take and specify when you will start taking them. For instance; exercise more becomes join gym in January, take 6pm spin class Mondays, yoga class on Thursday at 4 pm free weights on the weekend.
6. Be realistic and patient. You are human and we all stumble. Do not expect to be perfect and never use a slip up as an excuse to give up. No matter how many times you slip and fall you do not fail until you chose not to get up and keep going.
7. Have trust and faith in yourself. So many times we set a goal with an underlying belief we will never attain it. We may even say it out loud as we frame everything with the cop- out phrase I will try.  We recall the handful of times we missed the mark in our lives far more easily than all the times we knocked it out of the park and this serves to undermine our goals moving forward. Build on all you have already achieved and believe in your ability to do what you set out to do. This is the biggest reason we do not have the success and happiness we seek, we do not believe we can achieve it so do not give ourselves fully to the things that matter most. If this sounds familiar changing this thinking is a great place to start.

The Promise of Christmas

I love holidays, all of them really, but the biggie, the one with a whole season of over a month of merriment or chaos as the case may be,  Christmas is the best.

It is special. It is really a phenomenon.

It is a wonder to me the way masses of people are willing to dress up in certain colors or clothes (which are often quite hideous), spend hours trimming trees, hanging lights, baking fancy treats and braving utterly frenetic shopping malls. Grown men wrapping tiny packages with matching ribbon and bows…really? That just scratches the surface of course, for the truly dedicated Christmas includes elaborate crafts, gatherings of family and friends, theatre, music, pageants, church and more. What a magical and mysterious time of year;  millions of people regardless of complex problems and world strife make time for all of this, because we want the promise of Christmas. We want to give and receive, laugh, have fun.

Human beings long to connect. We want to find joy and meaning. We have a deep yearning to share ourselves with others, to matter,  to make a difference, to play, to love. Christmas promises an opportunity to do all of those things and gives us permission to do so in a big way.

Many people plan and save months in advance to make the holidays special. Religious meaning may be central for some but even in a secular celebration we search for the same promise. These fortunate people know what they plan to create and enjoy it fully.

Too often however, we are not aware of our deeper yearnings but feel the pull to make something magical happen. We can get caught up with things that do not fulfill our hearts desires and end up stressed or disappointed. The pressure and expectations of the media driven holiday rarely become reality for most as we buy into the idea that somehow we have fallen short or that others have left us shortchanged.

For a variety of reasons many people struggle emotionally this time of year.  Some have lost loved ones  and the season magnifies the pain of missing that special someone, others have suffered abusive homes and have grown to resent the jolly attitude that they have never known. People with mental illness commonly have symptoms increase likely from being sensitive to the added stress as well as the memories this time of year can bring. Some of us are alone or in situations that are not good and trying to fake it is not aways easy. While the holidays highlight all that we have in our lives it also highlights for others all that they lack.

It is a mixed bag, an emotional pot luck. So many different perspectives, traditions, experiences.
The Christmas season heightens all the things that are different between us but more than any other time  shines a light on how much we are the same.

We are joyous or devastated or anywhere in between based on the same human longings and deep yearnings. Even when we try to deny it, in the quiet moments we know it is true; we want to connect, to matter, to share, to love.

Christmas is like a beacon each year. An annual opportunity to experience "it" Maybe for the first time.
It offers us a reason to come out of ourselves more fully; to be more generous, more playful, more free.

We strive to find the "it" of Christmas. We seek fervently each year. Some lucky souls discover it and revel in it, most of us catch a glimpse or two, some will search again next year or give up trying.

To experience the promise of Christmas fully we must become aware of what it is we truly seek.
We must let go of the fear that holds us back most of the year and play all in, share big.
We must guard against the messages that surround us distracting us from the meaningful moments we most want. We must choose to create the Christmas we truly seek.

The Promise of Christmas is that you can make a difference to someone. You do matter. You are able to connect with others, you are good and kind and generous. You are able to offer yourself and your love and in so doing you are expressing the best of who you are in the world.
That is the magic of Christmas. A whole season of chances to laugh, play, connect, act silly, be generous, be you. The real promise and "it" of Christmas is you: Expressing , experiencing, sharing and celebrating all that there is of you and all that there is for you.

Merry Christmas!

Tips to be Merry and Bright

J Just relax and breathe, take time to spend doing things you enjoy. Do not buy into pressure to spend time or money on things that do not matter to you.

O Overcome limited thinking. Give to strangers  to give is kindness. You will be surprised how powerful and appreciated that is. Find yourself alone?  Have dinner in a shelter caring for others share, care, be open. Let go of past pain and create a new memories or traditions that matter to you.

Y Yearn. Become  aware of what is most important to you. What are you deepest yearnings and how can you express and connect to them not only this season but throughout the new year.