We all think being optimistic is a wonderful thing and for the most part it is.Optimism is a top quality we seek out in employees, lovers and friends. There are literally thousands of books about the power of a positive attitude and how to cultivate more of one. In fact, I have actually written quite a few articles and given many presentations on the subject of optimism. So what could possibly be the downside of a trait so sought after?
Optimists, such as myself, are typically inclined to believe that things will work out well regardless of circumstance. This is the mainstay of thinking for cup -is- half -full folks. Overall, this thinking feels better and serves to motivate the necessary action to make the best of any situation. This is what we all want more of but it can also breed long range trouble. As a life long optimist I recognize that at times my rose colored glasses viewpoint can be rather annoying, it is also contagious and is a quality people close to me enjoy. The real issue is how it affects judgement. Reflecting on my life I can see where my belief that everything will work out for the best has often led me astray. Recently, I was speaking to a good friend, who may even be a few degrees brighter than me and she agreed that in retrospect optimism entices us to jump in with little concern for outcome and therein lies the problem. When you are an optimist you believe everything will work out for the best so on occasion you get into things without fully investigating the drawbacks. You do not want to listen to naysayers and write off warning signs as negativity. You are so sure you can make everything work you expel loads of energy looking for and cultivating the good. You may also stick with things or people much longer than is wise searching for silver linings and satisfying yourself with the bright spots in otherwise dim situations. My friend and I discussed how this quality did not always serve us well in our marriages, choosing less than ideal mates and not heeding the red flags since we knew everything would work out for the best. This same scenario plays out in career and other choices as optimism can blend with impulsiveness and prevent us from seeing long term consequences clearly.
Of course being a pessimist is no day in the park either. Many pessimists are so overcome with the certainty something cannot possibly work that they are reticent to even try. The have a ready list of everything that can go wrong, are often overheard complaining and as a result tend to have low mood and are not typically the life of the party. Pessimism is not a sought after trait in our culture and maybe for good reason, but they do tend to weigh things carefully and see warning signs more clearly which certainly does pay off many times.
I have heard there are also realists out there but I think they are a minority. Most self proclaimed realists I meet are just stubborn pessimists convinced this "is just the way it is” and it is not all that good. In reality life is a beautiful mix of good and bad , but it is our viewpoint that makes the difference.
Most of us fall on one side or the other most of the time, hence the question half full or half empty. Some people contend there are no mistakes and that everything happens for a reason, kind of absolves responsibility. I would argue that sometimes the reason things happen is due to the choice we made that got us there to begin with. In large part the quality of our lives is a product of our choices and these are heavily influenced by our beliefs and attitudes. So while I still believe optimism leads to more happiness, less stress and is an attractive quality for lovers, coworkers and friends it does come with a cost in regard to making long range decisions.
But of course I think this cost is worth it. It is crucial to know that while you may make the best of any situation some situations are inherently better than others. I am optimistic we can learn to recognize the downside of our habit to jump in without looking at all the facts or long range implications and be more realistic in our expectations. I also think we can become pragmatic and invest our positive energy more wisely. Creating a balanced sensible approach to life does not require we become more negative just that we look at everything more carefully and choose the best for ourselves rather than always working so hard to make everything the best.
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