The Trouble With Women's Empowerment

Empowerment is a popular term widely used typically when referring to women.

Women’s Empowerment. Sounds like a good idea on the surface but it seems to me the term is a bit misleading and in a sense perpetuates the problem that it is most attempting to solve. Certainly there are many women in various demographics who feel powerless for a variety of reasons. There are far too many women who are victimized and abused. There are many places that women do not count, countries that literally do not count females as part of their population numbers. Power and basic human rights have been stolen from large numbers of women around the world. Sadly, in our own country this exists as well, women who have very limited choice and voice in their own lives. In cases like these empowerment is an appropriate term, to give power back to women who may not have a level playing ground or are oppressed and treated unjustly. But for most women the key to the claiming the personal power they lack in their lives lies within themselves.

As a life coach who primarily works with women, empowerment is a topic that comes up frequently. There are many women that feel their opinions or desires do not matter very much. They may sit on the sidelines in some aspects of their lives or defer to others to make big decisions. Even women who are in highly respected positions and enjoy a lot of freedom sometimes hold back, bite their tongue or tolerate things that are simply not acceptable. There are also countless well meaning people and organizations designed to empower  or give women what they need  to live happy and successful lives. However, I contend that this group of women do not need to be given power, rather they need to discover the power they already have within them. 

I think that it is vital that women recognize that we are strong, capable and worthy in our own right. That our power comes from within us and is not given nor can it ever truly be taken. 

I prefer the term women’s  re-powerment. To discover, reconnect and harness the power that already exists within each of us. I am not just mincing words here. One of the main issues that women who struggle with a real or perceived lack of

personal power face stems from losing track of who they truly are, what they are really worth and how strong and capable they actually are. Particularly for women who are abused or oppressed not knowing this plays directly into the people or forces that are working against them. When we frame our assistance as if we have to give something to women we support the message that they lack something in the first place.

They do not. 

We are born with power. We have intrinsic immutable worth and value. We are far more capable and powerful than we can at times imagine. 

This is true whether we are male or female, living with freedom and advantage or oppressed and marginalized. However, it is often hard to remember and accept this and many forces will conspire to undermine us, including ourselves.

Nothing that we experience in our lives changes the truth of who we are.  All our experiences only add to who we are and what we know. Everything we survive and accomplish adds to our personal strength and compassion for ourselves and all humanity if we choose to let it.

But many of us have been lied to. Told that certain things make us bad or less in some way. Both men and women come of age with thousands of outside judgements that  skew their vision of themselves and the world and make them feel that they somehow are not quite enough. There are direct and indirect messages that chip away at our sense of self and leave us full of doubts. While we all face some of this it can be overwhelming and very damaging in some cases.

For women this can be especially true. Even in our modern progressive society there remains mixed messages. Girls are taught to put others needs first, not to be aggressive or assertive lest they be labeled a bitch and not be liked. Of course we are also expected to have successful careers and relationships while looking beautiful and being “good” girls. In addition, there remains serious social issues such as pay inequality, sexual harassment etcetera in this male dominated world. These issues are improving, put do play a part in how we perceive ourselves which impacts our sense of personal power and freedom.

It is complicated to be sure with many factors to consider, the bottom line though is that personal power can only be cultivated from within an individual. It is grounded in genuine self confidence which is built upon a foundation of self awareness and self acceptance. It is the understanding that you are capable, that you matter just as much as anyone else; who you are, what you think, what your needs and desires are all matter. Not more than anyone or less else or than anyone else.

We have all that we need within us. If it is within us it cannot be taken away even if it at times is temporarily held hostage or imprisoned. Our personal power is our true essence and birthright. Women do not need me or anyone else to give them what they already have, but at times we all need to be reminded and re-powered.